December 08, 2016

Hunter: "We need to kill the hags in the swamp before they betray us."

Dianne: "But we gave our word we'd look for that thing if they agreed to leave the village alone for a while.

Hunter: "They're hags! They'll betray us the second an opportunity presents itself!"

Dianne: "But we gave our word!"

Hunter: "To HAGS!!"
Jason: Sorry I'm late. There wasn't any more hag-fucking, was there?

Hunter: No, thank God...

November 25, 2016

Hunter: And  is why you kill hags, not fuck them!
Tom: Let me get this straight. The wizard is going to seduce the hag?

Gavin: I'm helping.

Tom: You're making this a threesome?!

Gavin: Well, I'm turning into a wolf...

Hunter: How does adding bestiality to an already disgusting situation constitute HELPING?!
Finn: "Since no one else is asking the obvious, I will."

Tom: "Ask me what?"

Finn: (aside) What am I supposed to be asking again?
Tom: "My lieutenant will stay here. I will attend the feast."

Gavin: "Well you age to leave your weapons here to avoid violence?"

Hunter: Everyone's checking their weapons at the entrance! Why would he leave them here, miles away?
Tom: Do you want to impress them or just feed them at this feast?

Hunter: Why bother impressing them? We're just going to kill them and take their stuff later.

November 19, 2016

Hunter: Old Stoyanka tells you that you have three days to find the moss and return with it.  She will provide you with a guide as well as instructions on how much to collect and what dangers to expect in the morning.

Jay: Excellent! Is there a time limit on how long we have to get the moss and get back?

Hunter. Dude...
Hunter: Two of the Chasind Stalkers attack Jason's character.

Jason: Go ahead and rip me apart, then.

Hunter: To shreds, you say?
Gavin: I'm going to wade back across the river to get my horse.

Jason: NO! I'm already bringing your horse to you!

Patrick: I think you've lost your horse privileges for a while.

Hunter: You need to revoke his idea privileges instead.
John: Are the pieces of the cut ferry rope still attached on either side?

Hunter: Yes, they are still there.

Gavin: Okay, I can untie the section on my side and...

Hunter: You've made it across the river.

Gavin: Yes!

Hunter: Without your horse.

Gavin: Yes.

Hunter: And without bringing one end of a length of rope to help everyone else get across.

Gavin: Yes...

Hunter: So how did you going first help the party in any way?

Gavin: Uh...

November 13, 2016

Dianne: You can't gank your commanding officer on the first session!

Hunter: I'm not going to! I'm just PLANNING to!
Hunter: There are three horses still up, one of which is severely wounded.

Tom: Put that one out of its misery.

Karen: We have healers!

Tom: Fine! Use the primal forces of creation to keep the glue factory churning!
Hunter: Well, he's dead. And you have another horse.
Hunter: Karen?

Karen: My initiative is 5...

Jason: That's FIVE times your last initiative!

Karen:  ...Thanks.

October 20, 2016

Hunter: Being from Tevinter, this whole celebration is charmingly barbaric at best, to you.

John: I was already looking down on them for being peasants; I'll break my neck trying to look down my nose at them even more...

October 13, 2016

Hunter: The snipers will target Lorelia, because the PC's do not have a copyright on murdering unarmed women.
Hunter: You know, from my perspective this is totally justified because I know this NPC  a bad guy. But from any other perspective in game Jason is just beating some fruit peddler over the head with a lute for no discernable reason.
Tom: Damn exploding balls! Always running into our women!
Tom: "Technology! When has THAT ever benefited anyone?"
Hunter: You've gotten all the pertinent info you can get from the Trolloc.

John: "Should we dispatch it?"

Patrick: Come on, little fella! Back to your family!

September 02, 2016

::Perception check::

Jason: "23."

Tom: "23."


Jason: "19."

Tom: "19."

::Survival check::

Jason: "18."

Tom: "18."

Jason: Cut it out, dammit.

July 13, 2016

::After stealing horses from every enemy they come across::

Jason: We might as well just start a side business in horse trading...
Tom: Time to do what I do best: Murdering unarmed women!
Hunter: The inn's roof is on fire. What do you do?

Patrick: I need to save our mounts!  I de-stabilize our horses!
Hunter: The inn's roof is on fire. What do you do?

Patrick: I need to save our mounts!  I de-stabilize our horses!
Hunter and Dianne: ::Singing "Go Down Moses"::

Patrick: What is that?

Dianne: An old Negro Spiritual.

Hunter: You can tell I was afraid of sounding racist: I hesitated to say "Negro."

Jason: I don't even like to say "Black" in Spanish.

June 29, 2016

Hunter: You round the stable to find Nael with some villagers, apparently escaping from the building.

Tom: "These are my peasants! Get your own!"
Patrick: We just witnessed a Half-orc Barbarian beat a High Elf Wizard at chess. The Demon Lords are truly rising.
Patrick: Fire Elementals can't melt steel beams!

Eli: The Rise of Tiamat was an inside job! Don't you know wizards can track your sending stone?!

June 14, 2016

Karen: My Initiative is 4...

Jason: That's twice your previous initiative!

Karen: Thank you...

June 03, 2016

Jason: I don't need any healing.  Apparently I can't be hit.

Patrick: I can't be hit if I have something to hide behind...

Tom: And I can't be hit if I'm on the other side of the planet.  So what?

May 27, 2016

Ernie: <playing character with a low Intelligence> "I don't think that's what it says."

Chris: "Yes, but you're next to illiterate. Let me read things."

Ernie: "Your MOM is illiterate!"

Chris: "We're siblings.  We have the same mother. If my mom is illiterate, your mom is illiterate."

Ernie: "No, YOUR mother is illiterate!"

Chris: "::sigh::"
Patrick: I'm going to shoot at the horse.

Hunter: Why not the soldiers riding the horses?

Patrick: I don't want to attract their attention!

Tom: Yes, because they'll just ignore you trying to shoot their mounts out from under them.

May 19, 2016

It's hard to believe it's been two years since I could update this blog.

I have been in a program to become a registered nurse, which entailed going to school full time, working full time to pay for school, and dealing with all that comes of such stress.  During that time I could hardly find time to play games to de-stress, let alone keep up with the blog.

My schedule has freed back up now, though, so I intend to resume updates soon.