May 16, 2014

Ian: I'm just going to reach into my pocket and feed my turtle.

Dianne: Is that what you call it?
Hunter: Your critical miss effect is... (draws card) You teleport to the nearest square to the target.

Tom: Now you can attack it in melee like God intended!
John: "You have any more horse nuts?"

Tom" How did you know that's what they were?"

John: "Because they're tasty."
Eli: "I thought we were rescuing children."

Karen: "No, that's just a pleasant side effect."
Hunter: The peasants here are hyper evolved so they reach sexual maturity by age 5.  It's the only way they can continue to exist.

Tom: That'd still only give them a couple generations before the family horse died and they'd starve.
Hunter: Rhinos are just ugly unicorns.  They killed the others for calling them names.

Karen: Well, if they weren't clique-y bitches it wouldn't have happened.
Eli: Jason, I don't know why but I always have an unreasonable hate for your animal companions.

Tom: It's not unreasonable.
Hunter: (after rolling 3 critical failures in an attempt to hit Eli's character) You are a GOD DAMN WITCH.