Ernie: <playing character with a low Intelligence> "I don't think that's what it says."

Chris: "Yes, but you're next to illiterate. Let me read things."

Ernie: "Your MOM is illiterate!"

Chris: "We're siblings.  We have the same mother. If my mom is illiterate, your mom is illiterate."

Ernie: "No, YOUR mother is illiterate!"

Chris: "::sigh::"