I, like many people of the Geek and Nerd persuasion, play tabletop roleplaying games. We are a strange bunch, and the things we say during these sessions are strong evidence to that fact. What most people don't know is that we also tend to be hilarious.
May 03, 2017
Tom: On a scale of 1-47, how enraged is your character?
John: All of it.
Tom: "So I am to challenge you for Fenrir's favor?"
Gavin: "No."
Tom: "No?"
Gavin: "You're not a challenge."
Tom: Back to the evil wizard...
Gavin: I never said I was evil.
Hunter: You didn't HAVE to!
April 08, 2017
Tom: "You have all that gold; can I get some?"
Hunter: "Did you kill the Dragon guarding it?"
Tom: "No?"
Hunter: "Then you already know the answer."
Dianne: What about all the gold in the boat? Can we fold up the boat with the gold in it? Does the magic work that way?
Tom: No, it's like trying to solve a Rubik's Cube that's covered in peanut butter; technically possible but in practice it's just going to make a mess.
February 23, 2017
Hunter: I dismiss my Evard's Black Tentacles.
John: I charge the elf.
Tom: The elf ceases to be violated by tentacles and is instead violated by John's axe.
Hunter: ::rolls large handful of damage dice:: Aww... That's not nearly as much as I wanted.
Tom: You just blew somebody's arm off and you're complaining about it not being a critical hit!
