Eli: I need to buy Fletcher a Horn of Summons.  If Fletcher blows it, all creatures within a mile hear it and all allies immediately wake up if sleeping and know my exact location in relation to them, his current HP, and his status.

Tom: But will it make anyone care?

Eli: ...No.

Eli: So what did we loot?

Jason: A lot of art and wine.

Hunter: This is a vampire's castle; that's not wine.

Chris: Even the cigars are blood.

Eli: I thought they'd be orphan skin or something.

Tom: Scabs wrapped in orphan skin, maybe.

Eric: Your power list reads like a set list for a Norwegian Black Metal Band...

Tom" His horse isn't really gay, he's just been raping it this whole time.

Hunter: Took it just a little far there.

Tom: Neigh means neigh!

Eric: You only disable most of the traps.  Your conscripted minions will still have to deal with the rest.

Jason: Meh.  They're just gnolls.

Tom: [playing an evil character] "He's tricky, huh?  He wouldn't do something like infiltrate an adventuring group and pretend to be a hero so he could kill things and get gold, would he?"

Eric: The door opens to reveal four drow with readied crossbows pointed at you.

Tom: Good!  I want to kill one!