I, like many people of the Geek and Nerd persuasion, play tabletop roleplaying games. We are a strange bunch, and the things we say during these sessions are strong evidence to that fact. What most people don't know is that we also tend to be hilarious.
November 25, 2016
Hunter: And is why you kill hags, not fuck them!
Tom: Let me get this straight. The wizard is going to seduce the hag?
Gavin: I'm helping.
Tom: You're making this a threesome?!
Gavin: Well, I'm turning into a wolf...
Hunter: How does adding bestiality to an already disgusting situation constitute HELPING?!
Gavin: I'm helping.
Tom: You're making this a threesome?!
Gavin: Well, I'm turning into a wolf...
Hunter: How does adding bestiality to an already disgusting situation constitute HELPING?!
Finn: "Since no one else is asking the obvious, I will."
Tom: "Ask me what?"
Finn: (aside) What am I supposed to be asking again?
Tom: "Ask me what?"
Finn: (aside) What am I supposed to be asking again?
Tom: "My lieutenant will stay here. I will attend the feast."
Gavin: "Well you age to leave your weapons here to avoid violence?"
Hunter: Everyone's checking their weapons at the entrance! Why would he leave them here, miles away?
Gavin: "Well you age to leave your weapons here to avoid violence?"
Hunter: Everyone's checking their weapons at the entrance! Why would he leave them here, miles away?
Tom: Do you want to impress them or just feed them at this feast?
Hunter: Why bother impressing them? We're just going to kill them and take their stuff later.
Hunter: Why bother impressing them? We're just going to kill them and take their stuff later.
November 19, 2016
Hunter: Old Stoyanka tells you that you have three days to find the moss and return with it. She will provide you with a guide as well as instructions on how much to collect and what dangers to expect in the morning.
Jay: Excellent! Is there a time limit on how long we have to get the moss and get back?
Hunter. Dude...
Jay: Excellent! Is there a time limit on how long we have to get the moss and get back?
Hunter. Dude...
Hunter: Two of the Chasind Stalkers attack Jason's character.
Jason: Go ahead and rip me apart, then.
Hunter: To shreds, you say?
Jason: Go ahead and rip me apart, then.
Hunter: To shreds, you say?
Gavin: I'm going to wade back across the river to get my horse.
Jason: NO! I'm already bringing your horse to you!
Patrick: I think you've lost your horse privileges for a while.
Hunter: You need to revoke his idea privileges instead.
Jason: NO! I'm already bringing your horse to you!
Patrick: I think you've lost your horse privileges for a while.
Hunter: You need to revoke his idea privileges instead.
John: Are the pieces of the cut ferry rope still attached on either side?
Hunter: Yes, they are still there.
Gavin: Okay, I can untie the section on my side and...
John: THAT IS THE OPPOSITE OF HELPING
Hunter: Yes, they are still there.
Gavin: Okay, I can untie the section on my side and...
John: THAT IS THE OPPOSITE OF HELPING
Hunter: You've made it across the river.
Gavin: Yes!
Hunter: Without your horse.
Gavin: Yes.
Hunter: And without bringing one end of a length of rope to help everyone else get across.
Gavin: Yes...
Hunter: So how did you going first help the party in any way?
Gavin: Uh...
Gavin: Yes!
Hunter: Without your horse.
Gavin: Yes.
Hunter: And without bringing one end of a length of rope to help everyone else get across.
Gavin: Yes...
Hunter: So how did you going first help the party in any way?
Gavin: Uh...
November 13, 2016
Dianne: You can't gank your commanding officer on the first session!
Hunter: I'm not going to! I'm just PLANNING to!
Hunter: I'm not going to! I'm just PLANNING to!
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