I, like many people of the Geek and Nerd persuasion, play tabletop roleplaying games. We are a strange bunch, and the things we say during these sessions are strong evidence to that fact. What most people don't know is that we also tend to be hilarious.
February 27, 2014
Hunter: He's a Djinni on the streets, but an Efreeti between the sheets...
Hunter: Guess this is a TPK...
Amanda: No.
Hunter: No?
Ernie: Two of us aren't in the pit and can still leave.
Hunter: Help?
Ernie: Well, I could, but then you wouldn't learn anything.
Amanda: No.
Hunter: No?
Ernie: Two of us aren't in the pit and can still leave.
Hunter: Help?
Ernie: Well, I could, but then you wouldn't learn anything.
Ernie: "Natara, do you use whips?"
Hunter: Not in battle.
Donna: Uhh...
Ernie: Mee-YOW.
Hunter: Not in battle.
Donna: Uhh...
Ernie: Mee-YOW.
Nick: You can't crit an object.
Ernie: But you can crit your pants!
Ernie: But you can crit your pants!
Nick: It's a wand of bull's strength.
Ernie: ::writing:: Wand... of... B.S...
Hunter: You don't need magic for that, just a high Bluff check.
Ernie: ::writing:: Wand... of... B.S...
Hunter: You don't need magic for that, just a high Bluff check.
Ernie: "What's his name? Grignak? Azzaguk?"
Thomas: "Ass-to-mouth, whatever. That guy sucks."
Thomas: "Ass-to-mouth, whatever. That guy sucks."
Tom: "You saw how we defeated all your enemies practically at once? I did that simply for money; imagine what I'll do if you don't pay me."
Chris: You just got fisted by a giant robot.
Hunter: The worst part is the cold hands.
Chris: THAT'S the worst part?
Tom: The spiked knuckles would have been my bet.
Chris: You know, actually, the worst part is probably the fact that they don't call afterwards.
Hunter: The worst part is the cold hands.
Chris: THAT'S the worst part?
Tom: The spiked knuckles would have been my bet.
Chris: You know, actually, the worst part is probably the fact that they don't call afterwards.
::heavyset BBEG floats through the air instead of walking::
Chris: Jesus, he's like the Baron Harkonnen of Dragonborn...
Chris: Jesus, he's like the Baron Harkonnen of Dragonborn...
Eric: They're all big automatons.
Chris: So no weapons?
Eric: They have big knife-hands.
Chris: Oh, is that all?
Chris: So no weapons?
Eric: They have big knife-hands.
Chris: Oh, is that all?
Eric: "I have heard so much about you but I had yet to see you."
Tom: "But I sent you an autographed picture!"
Tom: "But I sent you an autographed picture!"
Eric: You return to Lethurna for your reward.
Tom: Isn't that where all the dead wait in line for eons to be judged for their deeds in life? Can I just ask to get a free pass to the front when I die?
Tom: Isn't that where all the dead wait in line for eons to be judged for their deeds in life? Can I just ask to get a free pass to the front when I die?
Tom: "Hi-ho Smegma! Away!"
Hunter: "The funny thing is that means 'Chuckles' in the orc tongue."
Chris: "I'd tell him what it really means in Common but it's too hilarious this way."
Hunter: "The funny thing is that means 'Chuckles' in the orc tongue."
Chris: "I'd tell him what it really means in Common but it's too hilarious this way."
Tom: "History, huh? That's stuff that happened in the past, right?"
February 26, 2014
Nick: I used my hurting die for initiative and it hurt me.
Hunter: You fail to disarm the trap and it explodes.
Amanda: Uh oh. Who does it hit?
Hunter: Everyone without a lot of hit points.
Amanda: Uh oh. Who does it hit?
Hunter: Everyone without a lot of hit points.
::Amanda critically fails, cuts off another character's hand; the enemies watch this and ignore her for a round::
Ernie: "Thanks for giving us a hand."
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